2009-07-13 @ 12:56 p.m.

Amanda Neal... Amanda Marie Neal, actually. That's right, I know your middle name ... And you know who I am. This is Kyle Nicholson. Actually, Amanda, this is Kyle Jack Nicholson. Jack Nicholson, that's right, the actor. And do you wanna know where I'm calling from? I'm calling from my new home in Halifax. And do you wanna know what I think of you? I think you're a fucking sexy bitch. Do you wanna know why? Because you're tall, you got a big booty, you got big fucking titties and you're in love with a man in a teepee. And do you wanna know what that means to me? That means that you are the fucking shit. And do you wanna know whose shit you are? You're my shit. You're the shit that I shit out in the morning and you know what? I appreciate that shit. I fucking appreciate you. And you wanna know what Amanda? You need to get back in my life. You need to save up some goddamn money, you need to get on the fucking bus, or get in the fucking minivan and you need to drive down here. You wanna know what, Amanda? You need to drive right down here whether you gotta ride a fucking horse or go in a fucking gypsy fucking carriage caravan with teepee people, all the way to fucking Nova Scotia - in particular, Halifax, Nova Scotia. And do you wanna know what? You need to come down here, and you need to put on your titty shirt, you need to get your big fucking double D titties right out and you need to come to the goddamn fucking bar with me. And do you wanna know when we used to go to Boom together, that was the time of my life. That was the time of my life with you. And you just threw that all away to live in Hainesville, on a farm. Do you wanna know what? I don't care about your goddamn fucking gypsy boyfriend... [unintelligible garble, call released]